Ponders in Bedok
So, I was super excited about this project, mainly because I wanted to do a zine pretty badly, because it gave me full reigns on the project itself. I would be given a location at random and our class was told to do a zine inspired by our given places. It didn’t necessarily mattered to me which location I would be given, as I had zero basis knowledge on Singapore and it didn’t matter to me the distance, so I would be going blind anyway. (Actually, I prayed I didn’t get Orchard and my prayers were answered, God exists hooray.)
The location I was given was Bedok. Apparently, it’s an hour away from Yishun. Basically, it’s the same amount of distance from my home to NTU (timewise), so I wasn’t really bothered. My only concern was whether or not I would get lost, which as you could tell by the title there was no escaping from. But whatever, I decided it would contribute to the experience. FOR THE ZINE!!!
I got lost many a times trying to find the actual location. First, was getting lost trying to find the BUS INTERCHANGE. Then, I got lost IN THE BUS INTERCHANGE. And then, I missed my stop… by two stations, so I had to retrace my steps.
When I finally got there, I was already tired. BUT! I needed my material. So onwards I went. FOR THE ZINE!!!
I didn’t want to cover the whole of Bedok, for obvious reasons, so I decided to choose specific places. My original plan was to just go in Bedok blind, taking random busses and getting off random stops, but if I did that I would be never found again for like five weeks. So, I ditched that idea pretty quickly. Then, I went to Mimi (my professor) for advise and she mentioned Bedok reservoir, which I would later find out that it had recently become a popular site for people to take their life. Intrigued, I dug deeper into the subject. From here, my second plan came to action, which was to explore creepy/dark places in Bedok. I focused on three places: Bedok reservoir, Block 611, and Block 99 (the last two places are known to be haunted). But I needed a back up or a plan 3 just in case. My last and final plan was to narrow my search to just Bedok reservoir. I decided to do the third plan by the time I reached Bedok reservoir as a very tired and very grumpy teenage girl who just wanted her bed.
Here’s a few of the photos I took (because apparently I took over 400 pictures in total)
As I was still heading in blind in some aspects, I didn’t really know what to do with the zine at this point. So, I was just randomly taking pictures for references (because I knew for sure I wanted to draw my entire zine). But as I walked around the reservoir, I kept thinking of how people who come here and drown themselves, more specifically how in the world did they drown themselves? Did they tie themselves down with bricks or something? Keep their head below the water and resist the urge to come up for air? Seemed a little bothersome. Wouldn’t it be more efficient to like jump off a building (oops wait too far down back up.)
Drafts
Progress Shots
More
Thoughts
Doesn’t everybody love a good bittersweet story, a tragedy of questioning circumstances, something that tugs on their heartstrings just a little? To answer that, I quote the words from my fellow classmate:
Jebra. How dare you. ~Adithi
Not necessarily a good answer, but it at least proved the point that I managed to bring out a story of a bitter end into the span of a measly six pages. The very essence that drove me during this whole project was the ability to narrate a story, to illustrate a plot so endearing, so emotionally tugging, it would bring tears to my classmates’ eyes. I didn’t necessarily get tears, but the cries I exaggerate of protests of the much too dark tone my zine took was well enough to bring joy to my cold, non-existent heart. Ah, sweet euphoria.
Getting off topic. Back to my point.
Already with the mindset of using this zine project to unleash the inner mangaka in me, I jumped straight into it with pure vigor. When we were given our destinations, I prayed long and hard to give me the most desolate, out-of-the-way place I could get.
I got Bedok.
Close enough, it was about an hour away from Yishun.
My initial thoughts were, ‘What’s there to do in Bedok?’ and ‘Should I just jump into it and cross my fingers for some good material?’. I went with the safe option and asked Mimi for some suggestions and came upon my jackpot location: Bedok Reservoir. A relatively, recent hot spot for suicide attempts.
I jumped the train (literally) and made my way there, getting lost three times in the process. When I finally got there, I was in the mood to get in, take pictures, and get out. Don’t misunderstand me, I was still excited about the project altogether, I just hated everything and anything outdoors. There’s only so far little, introverted, and much-too-lazy me would go for art. And this was the limit.
So, I got my material. What next?
Story time.
I had no story.
But, the story was already laid out for me. Bedok Reservoir, hot spot for suicides, a much too tired girl on a journey. That was my story.
Meet our nameless main character, who will lead you into Bedok Reservoir with her safety hoodie and suspicious looking bag, have you create some sort of morbid curiosity towards twelve bricks, and then if all goes to plan have your heart shatter into millions of pieces as you realized she’s jumped and drowned herself in the bottom of lake.
My story follows a simple system: Beginning, Contemplation, and End.
It looks as if I randomly pulled these words out of a hat and went with it. But, no, I didn’t randomly do it, I strategically pulled these words right out of my magic hat. Ha. Just kidding.
These were the most relative words that reflected my own personal trek through Bedok Reservoir. Not so much the suicidal aspect (or is it) but the whole journey of it.
I started at the entrance, at the start, with a calm sort of mentality. I had a plan in mind, Get in, get my materials, and get out. A silent promise, a sense of determination. At the starting point, my mind was calm and so was the atmosphere around me. The reservoir itself was pretty empty, therefore, near silent if it wasn’t for the busy road behind it or my whiny friend who was accompanying me.
The second part of the journey was a continuation of the starting silence. The walk through along the lake was a peaceful one, my friend had grown tired of complaining and we only engaged in short bursts of conversation once in a while. The only thing I did was take pictures. Would this be good reference? Would I need this? Is this angle good? Would I put this scene in my zine? This portion of my walk circled around my own thoughts. The longest part of my journey and most of it was experienced in my mind wanderings. Hilarious. Takes a whole different meaning to sleepwalking. I would also say it was the most tiring portion of the entire project. My legs felt like lead and it certainly felt as if I was carrying bricks on my back with the pack I brought for the trip.
Then comes the end of my story, End. Pretty self explanatory if I dare say myself. What’s more to say other than The End.
