Little Miss Axiety
Little - (adj) small in size, amount, or degree (often used to convey an appealing diminutiveness or express an affectionate or condescending attitude).
Anxiety - (n) [psychiatry] a nervous disorder marked by excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behaviour or panic attacks.
One, two; breathe in tune.
Three, four; walk to the door.
Five, six; watch your steps.
Seven, eight; don’t be late.
Nine, ten; stop biting your hand.
Eleven, twelve; no thoughts to delve.
Thirteen, fourteen; no one’s staring.
Fifteen, sixteen; is someone watching?
Seventeen, eighteen; stop your breathing.
Nineteen, twenty; your lungs are empty.
The Beginning
I wanted to make an animation that stemmed from something personal to me. I have a panic disorder and it is something that affects my daily life at unexpected times. I live in a constant state of worry that I'll go into a panic attack at the most inopportune time, it prevents me from doing a lot of things most people can do. I can't get drive in case I suddenly find myself not being able to breathe. I sometimes have to step out of MRTs because the crowds scare me and I might pass out. There are time I will find myself late or even absent for many appointments simply because I had locked myself in a bathroom stall to calm myself.
The story that I wanted to portray centers around a girl who has anxiety. She does her daily routine but during it, she has an anxiety attack. It's a buildup of panic, her senses go into overdrive, and her paranoia goes through the roof.
Storybeat
Calm – The calm before the storm. Peaceful. Quiet. The walk alone to the MRT station is not lonely but blissful. The mask is fitted perfectly on the chara’s face.
Initial Panic – More people start to appear. The closer the chara gets to the station, the more nervous she feels. The mask cracks.
Panic – (longest sequence) Cracks grow on the mask until eventually it breaks. Chaos amongst the crowd. Eyes on strangers’ heads seem to follow, mouths seem to whisper of her shaking form, but no movement to help. There is only judgement.
Withdrawal – Silence. A haven. But mind is still n disarray.
Shame/Defeat – A lingering ‘voice’ taunts the chara. Draining at her already tired being. The mask is in pieces in her hands.
Exhaustion – (End) She’s tired. But she has to continue on. She has to be somewhere. Life doesn’t wait for her. The broken pieces of the mask disappears. But a new one has appeared on her face.
